Murdoch the Carinavore

Dark humor, but really funny - come see the show, don't be the bunny!

I am so in love.

Jim was really looking forward to watching football with his baby this fall. REALLY looking forward to it. Super cute.

So today, Clara's been nursing almost non-stop, but I finally caught a short break around midday and offered her to Jim, so took her into his lap. After a minute or two, as I'm watching them studying each other, Jim says "I didn't realize watching football with my baby meant I wouldn't watch it at all". My heart melted.

I am so in love. With both of them.

So, about 3.5 years ago, I decided that I wasn't happy working at a desk job all day (even though it was a pretty cool job - designing playground equipment!). I began the search for a teaching position. I ended up with a long-term sub position at an elementary school in Howell, which I quickly used as a stepping stone to a full-time elementary position in Corunna.

Now, the Corunna job turned out not to be ideal. They wanted me to teach subjects in which I had no training. They put me in a building where I didn't quite fit in. They made me travel during the week. Yet, while the job may not have helped me grow musically, I did grow as a teacher, learning how to manage a room better, learning how to incorporate new ideas into my teaching, learning to work in a team even when the team may not be a very compatible one.

For three and a half years I learned to roll with the punches, roll my eyes when no one was looking, laugh with my students, and settle into a different building in the district, one where I really felt I belonged. I learned how to draw a face and the human figure, how to squeeze in five minutes of music anywhere I could get it, and how to happily say yes through tightly clenched teeth.

It was by no means the perfect job, which I why I'm not there today. It was by no means my dream job, which is why I won't be there tomorrow either. It was certainly not the only thing out there, which is why I still won't be there next week, next month, or next year. I will find another job, a better job. I will find a job where I can use what I learned in Corunna but also grow musically and help my students grow musically too. I will find a job where I can be a mom and a teacher and won't have to spend $1,000 a month on gas to do it. I will find a job where I like my coworkers and love my students and come home smiling every day because we sang a song in Phrygian.

Until I find that job, I will love every minute that I get to look down into my little baby's face and see what's new. I will love every coo, smile, nod, laugh, and every first I get to witness because I am here. I know with my baby in my arms, Corunna will seem further away both geographically and emotionally and I will miss it less.

But today, I am sad. Happy first day of school to all my little peacocks in Corunna. I will miss you. Have fun, learn things, and be good.

Okay, so I have to write a paper about myself for my ethnomusicology class (an ethnomusicological study of my life, basically). Here's how I need your help:

If my life were a movie, tv show, whatever... what song or piece of music would be the theme?

Proof that either music theory is a total sham or I am just that awesome! I passed my graduate theory exam!! Woot. At least, I'm pretty darn sure that I did. Dr. Sly said he would email us by the end of yesterday if we didn't pass (I needed 70% to pass). The thing is that I wouldn't really have cared much not passing except that it would have meant that I had to pay for a 1 credit class that wouldn't count towards my masters degree. I did try to study some, but I had class all day, every day last week, and we are trying to get out house ready for sale! I guess I squeezed in just enough time to count though! Woopee me!!

In other news, we saw Wall-E last night. It was such a good movie. Sooo good. Everything Pixar is good at: touching, funny, awesome effects, creative, etc. And the short beforehand was hilarious. I love their shorts as much as I love their movies.

Now I am off to my first day of music history. Blech.

I'm in need of ice cream and I have absolutely no ambition to go out and buy it. If there was a delivery service for such a thing, I'd be all over it right now. Name the price. Vanilla ice cream with chocolate and peanuts... or chocolate and sprinkles... Mmmm.

Oh well, I'll have to remember to pick some up on the way home from school tomorrow and avoid a second night of taste-bud torture.

So I'm not maintaining good nutrition. At All. So I thought maybe I could find something online that might help me plan daily/weekly meals and track my nutrition to make sure that I'm doing okay. Because seriously, when you get that list of grams of this and grams of that you are supposed to consume daily it's SO overwhelming!! Anyway, so I thought I could find something online that would help make that less overwhelming. Alas, I have searched under countless variations of the words pregnancy, nutrition, menu, etc. and have yet to find anything that will help me. Any suggestions?? Let me know!!

So we finally got to visit Em in Boston, though after a safe landing Sunday night, Jim did say "if the plane had gone down, it's not like we weren't warned."

First we were going to go the weekend of her opera. I got sick. A sick that lasted for 3+ weeks. Then just as I was getting better, I got the stomach bug 'o' death. (Mind you, only the onset of the sick affected our trip, but still...)

Then just as we were set to leave Sunday morning, Saturday morning Jim got the stomach bug 'o' death. So we called and paid a little more $$ to have our flight moved to 3:20p instead of it's original 7:00a departure time. This was enough time for Jim's stomach to get back on its feet (?) and get us going.

We flew from Lansing to Detroit and were set to leave the D at 5:00, which turned into 5:30, which turned into 6:45, which turned into 7:45, which turned into 10:00p which then got cancelled with no announcement. Mother of Pearl!

Fortunately, my husband is a super genius (actually, this was prompted by my mom's idea, so I guess my mom's the smarty). Mom suggested looking for other airlines (this is just before the cancellation). So Jim went to a counter for a 9:14 NWA flight and got us on standby (everyone else from our flight was aiming to get onto standby for an 8:00 flight). It worked, we got on the 9:14 (and even got to sit together!) while some people were stuck with hotel vouchers (Ouch!). So we got to Boston and were in bed by 1:00a... about 5 hours after our scheduled arrival. Oy.

The good news is, we got to Emily quite a bit, and we had a great, albeit exhausting, time. I will write about that later so as not to overload or bore you now.

So today is the two week mark of my getting sick. I'm on antibiotics, so I should, in theory, be getting better. So far, not much to report, I still feel like poo. Hope it kicks in soon!

So I wish that doctors would give you the whole story when they tell you things like "it's okay to take this when you're pregnant".

Grr.

I've been down and out for days now. DAYS. I'm going slighty mad.

Went to the doc a week ago and was told I had a cold, go home, rest, drink fluids, etc.

That was a week and a half ago. So I went back today. I'm coughing more, it hurts to turn my gaze too far because my sinuses are so backed up, Ugh. So doc says you've got a sinus infection, take this amoxicillin, it's safe when you're pregnant. Also, maybe get Robitussin?

So I go to the drug store to get amox. and check out 'tussin. I ask pharmacist different between 'tussin and 'tussin DM. DM has a suppressant which if I'm coughing out gunk, I don't want. Fair enough. "Let me look up Guaifenesin" (the main ingredient in 'tussin). She comes back and tells me it's a category C and I should avoid taking it unless it's really necessary. Oy.

Interested and curious to know more about these classifications, I look up the rest of the stuff (on the interweb) that I've been told was "okay" to help me with this insufferable stuffiness. Well, Acetamenaphin (Tylenol) is a category B, so it's prolly okay. Amox. is as well... phew. But Sudafed is ALSO a category C. Not that this means my baby will die now or have 5 eyes, but golly gee, it would'a been nice to know! It's a good thing I don't pop pills like candy anyway, but still. I've been taking the sudafed all weekend, and might have limited myself to bedtimes only if I had known.

Grr. Just, Grr.

So last night Jim and I watched a documentary called The Business of Being Born It was phenomenal. We had heard about and were wanting to discuss the Greenhouse Birth Center in Okemos, but really weren't sure if this was what we wanted or not. The documentary sealed the deal. If I am approved as an eligible candidate for the birth center, I'm in. That's what I want. The midwife, the birthing tub, I know it sounds hippy, "crunchy" if you will, but I am sold. I want this experience to be as much about me (and my husband too for that matter) as I want it to be about having healthy baby. I know labor is painful and a lot of work, but I believe I can do it without medical interventions (barring the unforseen). Jim and I plan to set up a tour at Greenhouse shortly before or after our next appt. with Dr. Herta. I like her a lot, and would want her to be our back-up if needed, but I really think the birth center is the option for us.

I strongly recommend that everyone I know and love watch this movie and just consider its points. I know birth centers and home births aren't going to be everyone's first choice (even I kinda cringe at the idea of doing all this at home), but I think everyone should know what they are going to be up against when delivering their child in our current American health system. It's a real eye-opener.

(PS - and for all my male friends and readers... it's not graphic in a gross way... and they even used a radiohead song)

i'm sitting here on the couch trying to motivate myself to do something other than watch movies and sleep and realizing that i actually have no reason to post. not that i ever do.

So the pink lemonade and I have made a truce. For now.

In other news, I have THE WORLD'S GREATEST HUSBAND. Ever. Seriously. He is just the best. I don't know how I will ever repay him his awesomeness. He has gone above and beyond the call of husband time and again. I can't say it enough. THE BEST.

Jim, you are my hero.

I drank too much pink lemonade today and now I am paying the price. Thankfully, the God's heard my moans and called off school for tomorrow. So I have a whole day to recover from pink lemonade overload. Pretzels just aren't doing it. It was great. At its peak, I was singing the pink lemonade song all over the house! Of course that was prolly when the sugar buzz was just kicking in too. Now I'm having sugar crash, tummy ache central. Oy. Damn you pink lemonade! The only thing that tasted good and settled the stomach. And you had to turn on me, didn't you. You'll pay for this. When you're pouring down the drain. When you're sitting, lonely and forgotten, in the back of the fridge. I'll make you rue the day you ever messed with me.


The cats need more water in their little drinking fountain. I have to go now.

Sometimes it you win. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes it rains. Think about that.

And sometimes you get sick and end up with a snow day.

And sometimes you pray you'll get lucky twice.

As a new political storm season approaches, I encourage all of you who read my posts (wow, that's bold of me, assuming that anyone but my husband and maybe my sisters read this) to look up FactCheck.org

It is a phenomenal site where they keep both political parties in check by verify and debunking claims made in tv ads, radio commercials, speeches, debates, etc.

We all know that there's no such thing as a straight-shooting politician. This website allows you to see just who is doing what in terms of public manipulation. Then you can decide which is the lesser of two weevils.

For example - would you rather vote for someone who carefully cuts the end of a quote to beef up the "support" for his policy proposals...

Or someone who claims to have lowered crime and taxes in his state when in reality, both are higher than when he first took office?

"HAPPINESS" from "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown"

This would describe how I feel with Christmas approaching, my husband free, my sister home, and my vow of silence, well, dragging on, but still...

HAPPINESS IS FINDING A PENCIL.
PIZZA WITH SAUSAGE
TELLING THE TIME.
HAPPINESS IS LEARNING TO WHISTLE.
TYING YOUR SHOE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

HAPPINESS IS PLAYING THE DRUM IN YOUR OWN SCHOOL BAND.
AND HAPPINESS IS WALKING HAND IN HAND.
HAPPINESS IS TWO KINDS OF ICE CREAM.
KNOWING A SECRET.
CLIMBING A TREE.
HAPPINESS IS FIVE DIFFERENT CRAYONS.
CATCHING A FIREFLY.
SETTING HIM FREE.

HAPPINESS IS BEING ALONE EVERY NOW AND THEN.
AND HAPPINESS IS COMING HOME AGAIN.
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAY TIME AND NIGHT TIME TOO.
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT'S LOVED BY YOU.

HAPPINESS IS HAVING A SISTER.**
SHARING A SANDWICH.
GETTING ALONG.
HAPPINESS IS SINGING TOGETHER WHEN DAY IS THROUGH,
AND HAPPINESS IS THOSE WHO SING WITH YOU.
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAYTIME AND NIGHTTIME TOO.
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT'S LOVED BY YOU.

(**Carin's edit - make that two sisters.)

It feels good to give.

So I went to the Livonia Voice Center yesterday. Wow. What a totally different experience than the place I went to here in town. I think I described that first visit, didn't I? Hmm maybe not. Well here was the visit to the EL ENT:

10:00 - arrive and fill out paperwork
10:15 - go back into a tiny room smaller than a dorm room closet
10:20 - dr. enters. puts little scope through my nose to look at my vocal folds
10:25 - dr. says i have a node and a polyp. says i need surgery.
10:30 - back to waiting room
10:35 - sitting at nurses desk scheduling time for surgery.
10:45 - sent home

That was it. It was aweful. I was given no real information of substance, no choices, no discussion, etc. I was miserable. Very disappointed, frustrated, worried, etc. So after talking with Jim, my parents, my voice teachers, etc. I decided to cancel the surgery. So Jim and I went back to EL ENT and cancelled the surgery.

Well, I know that I said before that Jim's mom really pulled some strings for me. So yesterday I go to the LVC to see this doctor who, by the way, was quoted in the NY Times last week. So I figure he's gotta be doing something right.

We walk in. The exam room is clean, decent sized, and contains besides the usual stuff, a computer and a piano keyboard. During the exam, the doctor explained everything he was going to do and why before he did it. He looked in my ears, nose, and throat. He used the keyboard to check my speaking and singing ranges and flexibility (dynamics, articulations). He used a video scope to look at my folds while I vocalized. Then he showed me the video so that I could see my folds and what they were doing, what they looked like, what was normal and what wasn't.

He said I was a prime candidate for therapy (he also said elementary music teachers are one of the highest risk occupations for vocal trouble). So I'm scheduled to have an evaluatory appointment with two therapists, one with a speech pathology background and one with a music background. He said that a few people do still need surgery after therapy, but that can be assessed later. He also agreed that it would be worthwhile for me to continue voice rest through the holidays. So I am off from school until Jan. 2. I'm using up every sick/vacation day to do it, and I'll use 1/2 a day of FMLA leave, but I think this is a good reason. (even if it means missing out on singing Christmas carols this year).

So that's the story! I am so glad that my MIL got me in at the LVC. The experience was so positive, encouraging, and informative. I feel so much better and more comfident. Yeah!

We've killed our tree.

Okay, technically we killed it yesterday when we went to the tree farm and cut it down. Boy were things picked over there already. And it was only the 9th! But we finally found one that looked pretty good. It had a nice shape even if its green wasn't quite as deep and rich.

So we brought it home and left it in the garage overnight (for my dear, slightly paranoid husband). Looking at it tonight, we realized we'd have a trim a couple of branches in order to get it to fit in the tree stand. So Jim trimmed while I held on. Then we brought it in, tightened it into the stand, and cut open the twine. Amazingly simple. Too simple. Should have known then something was wrong.

So it begins to open up and I start brushing up the debris around the base (there's always debris when you set up a new tree). And I realize we haven't pulled out the branches we trimmed yet. So I pull one out. Suddenly there's an enormous hole. So I pull out the other branch. Now there's another enormous hole.

I try not to cry... we talk... if we trim the bald part, the tree will be almost two feet shorter... okay, if we turn it like this... maybe if we turn it like that... maybe if we use the GYGUNGOUS box that Jim's computer came in, wrapped it to look like a present, and put that under big hole #1 and turn the tree to put big hole #2 against the wall... it almost doesn't look like we killed it.

Ugly tree, better presents, right?